A pending rubber ducky crisis

This has been an interesting week. It has had it's highs and its lows.

If this blog is less than inspired, it is because today, I am less than inspired. It has been a tough day. Not much appetite and I have been very tired. Exactly what you would predict on the day after chemo.

The interesting thing is that in the days before chemo, I had significant dry mouth and some bowel issues. They were better last night. So who knows. This is a strange and rocky journey.

This past week began on a high with a visit to Moffitt Cancer Center. I was really impressed. I spent an hour with Dr. Haider and found her to be very bright and personable. She clearly cared about what I felt and wanted.

It was suggested that I do two full chemos, not four and then switch to a maintenance regime of some kind. Her recommendation was to do two days with Bob and not the full Bolus of chemo on the first day. This contrasts with the pill form of maintenance. The reason for not doing the pill is that there are some tough side effects possible (irreversible skin damage, for one.} Also, if one is left to do the pills at home, patients sometimes forget.

For those of you that know of my disdain for Bob, this is tough. We have about three weeks to work this out.

A few vignettes.

I met an older man at the post office the other day. He had received some meds in the mail and was complaining about the cost and that he therefore had to continue to work. I said, "Me too."

His response was that I was too old to be working. The implication is that he thought I looked older than him and more frail. I thought just the opposite, but what do I know.

The other vignette is shocking. You know of my feelings about my rubber duckies. A report released yesterday revealed that rubber duckies contain all kinds of bacteria. I will have to think about this. It would be a real sacrifice to give them up. What is more, I read the ending positions of the 5 duckies when the tub drains to determine how things are going.

It is kind of like reading tea leaves.

In any event, thanks for your support in so many ways.

Here's to a stress free life

This past week has been relatively uneventful.

I have managed to play tennis most mornings and also kept up with things at the bridge club.

There are a few days where I could have used a rest and did not get it, but generally things are good.

Anything not good? Hmmmm...some back and neck pain from the car accident, some neuropathy in the fingers, a little fatigue.

On the positive front, Dr. Patel told me that about 50% of his patients show no improvement after 4 sessions of chemo after a recurrence ( I went three months and then the cancer returned) and clearly the petscan showed decent improvement. Also, he indicated that the two shots that I received to boost my white blood cell counts were responsible for clearly up my mouth sores. My count jumped from 1.9 to 4.9.

I was able to get an appointment with Moffitt Cancer Center for tomorrow (Thursday) and I am looking forward to it. I spent 2 hours this evening answering a lengthly questionaire and then reading instructions to prepare for my visit..

The instructions included questions that one should ask during the appointment and I have come to the conclusion that Moffitt personnel may be miracle workers. I was instructed to ask "Will I be able to have children after my treatments?" If they answer yes to that, I will be impressed.

This week I have been reading a book called "The Cancer Conqueror." I read it many years ago and I have often recommended it to others. I realize that it has helped form my attitude to cancer. It focuses on the ability of the mind to influence what happens.

Negative emotions like fear, guilt and anger have a heavy negative influence on your health. Love, joy and peace obviously have a positive effect.

Right now I am reading about the importance of playing each day. I buy into that big time.

We all need to take control of what is happening in our lives and our treatment.

No summary would do justice to the book which is written as a parable of sorts. I highly recommend it. It is written by Andersen and is available on Amazon. I am somewhat interested in studying this book with others. Let me know if you would be interested. It is good for everyone, in my opinion.

One of the things that should be avoided is stress. I will have to develop strategies for things in my life to achieve this. For example, when I receive coin change from a purchase in the store, do I put the change in the coin holder in the car or do I bring it home and put it in the coin jar on my desk? Maybe I should always pay by debit card?

So......tennis players and bridge players........it would help my health if I could always win and not suffer the stress of losing I am just saying,

It is getting late, I need to go and have my relaxation, detoxing soak and then get to bed. Oh rats, I will have to decide whether to sleep on my left side or my right. Stress is everywhere.

Arrived!

This week brings a number of reports and observations.

The most important is that the results of my petscan show improvement in my liver and my lymph nodes and nothing new.The readings in the lymph node are down to about half of what they were 2 months ago. The liver readings are down about 40%.

What does this mean? It means that the oncologist is recommending another 4 sessions of chemo, not my first choice, but likely right.

Having said that, I am looking at clinical trials and also will attempt to get a second opinion re future treatment from Moffitt Cancer Center.

The second big development is that my white blood cell count was very low yesterday, The associated measure (ANC) was .9 and the minimum acceptable reading is 1.5. Low ANC is called Neutropenia. This prompted the requirement that I have two shots of  Neupogen to help bring it back up. I got one needle yesterday before rushing off to the petscan and one this morning which took a long time, which was frustrating, but I still made it to all my appointments.

One of the effects of Neutropenia is apparently mouth sores and infection. I have experienced that big time over the past three or four days, but it seems to be improving. That will help me feel like eating more, which has been a problem. It sometimes hurts to eat and my taste buds seem to be not functioning all that well.

Notwithstanding all this, I still am playing tennis when appointments or really cold weather don't get in the way. Monday, I was the best player on the court. The fact that it was drizzling and cool may have been a factor as no one else showed up to play. But then today, the best player who usually takes me to make things even, took someone else, which gave me some reason for optimism.

Some people encourage me by saying that at least I am trying. I am quick to observe that the research manager finds me trying often.

Finally, we all try to make it in whatever endeavor we undertake. I learned yesterday that I have arrived! We had about 30 minutes to eat between my petscan and an appointment with my GI doctor with whom I had a followup visit just prior to the one year anniversary of my big surprise. We located a McDonalds for an Egg McMuffin and asked for directions on my phone. When we got there, it told me that I had ARRIVED!  I did not realize that it was so easy to reach that lofty goal.

Finally, I learned today that someone who I see about three times a year on the tennis court (March Break) reads my blog regularly. Wow...all of you who follow the blog are great. I so much appreciate your interest, prayers and support. It gives me energy.

So, I am truly energized to carry on and intend to do so for a long time. Thanks.

Life is not quite like a box of chocolates, I couldn't eat them any way.

I was doing pretty well until yesterday, when I had my fourth chemo of this series.

For about three days, I feel tired, I don't feel like eating much, but I still try to remain active.

Tonight (day 2), I am very tired and am ready to go to bed, but it is not even 8:00 pm yet.

I was honored that the driver flew back from Connecticut just to be able to drive me to the cancer center yesterday. The only negative is that the car was dirty from spray from the recycled water and the pollen while she was away. I guess I make too many comments about her driving as she now says that she is driving Mr. Daisy.

Bob is still with me, of course. We had a little conversation today. He indicated that he is ok with coming home with me, but that there is a female pump that he calls Amanda that he would prefer to be back at the cancer center with.

I told him that he annoys me and he responded that I had better get serious about alternate therapies if I wanted him to stay away.

We keep on getting more and more things to try to beat this cancer thing. Most recently, I have ordered two books, one of which advocates serious exercise and the other of which is a strong advocate of Curcumin.

I figure that I can enhance my exercise and strength training by rearranging the myriad of books and notes on cancer that are on my desk each day. I must have 100 pounds worth.

At this point, I am taking Beta Glucan Pectin, Curcumin, Vitamin D, Selenium, Vitamin E, Vitamin B12, Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C, avocados, spinach, Chaga Mushroon Tea and Essiac Tea.

When they arrive, we will be adding Apricot Seeds. I am also sleeping on a magnet pad and wearing a magnet pad on my back to reach my liver.

Once I get the results of the petscan, we will have the Cancer Research Institute do a search for research programs that may deal with my situation.

Life is so exciting, but not quite like eating from a box of chocolates. However, we all can look forward to seeing what the next steps will be.

Thanks for sharing this journey with me.