Life is not quite like a box of chocolates, I couldn't eat them any way.

I was doing pretty well until yesterday, when I had my fourth chemo of this series.

For about three days, I feel tired, I don't feel like eating much, but I still try to remain active.

Tonight (day 2), I am very tired and am ready to go to bed, but it is not even 8:00 pm yet.

I was honored that the driver flew back from Connecticut just to be able to drive me to the cancer center yesterday. The only negative is that the car was dirty from spray from the recycled water and the pollen while she was away. I guess I make too many comments about her driving as she now says that she is driving Mr. Daisy.

Bob is still with me, of course. We had a little conversation today. He indicated that he is ok with coming home with me, but that there is a female pump that he calls Amanda that he would prefer to be back at the cancer center with.

I told him that he annoys me and he responded that I had better get serious about alternate therapies if I wanted him to stay away.

We keep on getting more and more things to try to beat this cancer thing. Most recently, I have ordered two books, one of which advocates serious exercise and the other of which is a strong advocate of Curcumin.

I figure that I can enhance my exercise and strength training by rearranging the myriad of books and notes on cancer that are on my desk each day. I must have 100 pounds worth.

At this point, I am taking Beta Glucan Pectin, Curcumin, Vitamin D, Selenium, Vitamin E, Vitamin B12, Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C, avocados, spinach, Chaga Mushroon Tea and Essiac Tea.

When they arrive, we will be adding Apricot Seeds. I am also sleeping on a magnet pad and wearing a magnet pad on my back to reach my liver.

Once I get the results of the petscan, we will have the Cancer Research Institute do a search for research programs that may deal with my situation.

Life is so exciting, but not quite like eating from a box of chocolates. However, we all can look forward to seeing what the next steps will be.

Thanks for sharing this journey with me.

Butt Kicking

Saturday evening, I had a new experience. I developed a very sore bottom.

Allow me to explain.

The three or four days after chemo last week were a little tough.  I can't fully explain it, but I was less than enthusiastic about almost everything.

The research manager noticed this and decided that I was not in good shape and that others agreed with her. She attributed it to my not taking the diet/supplement regime seriously and Saturday evening, she gave me a good old fashioned butt kicking. That is why my bottom was so sore.

From her perspective, my chemo and my reaction to it was the cause of all my maladies and she perceived that I was quietly accepting this and that chemo would be a permanent part of my life if I just drifted along as I seemed to be doing. This was causing all manner of ills.

She even suggested that my not doing all I could was the cause of my being rear ended in the car accident and that it was, therefore, probably my fault. I wonder if I should tell Liberty Mutual that the poor guy that hit me could not help it because I was not approaching this cancer thing properly. I am sure they would not be thrilled to hear this, but that his insurer might jump for joy if her theory prevailed.

I had blood work on Monday and my White Blood Cell count is low. I even had to consult with the nurse and nurse practitioner before I was sent on the way. I need to be careful around others. I hope that things are significantly better by next Tuesday when I have my next chemo.

Dry mouth is a minor problem as is neuropathy in my fingers. I am slowly building strength. I play tennis most days and sometimes can actually hit the ball.

I am still having my back, neck and wrist attended to and may have to deal with this for some time.

I realize that my mental attitude and toughness is very important in this process and am committed to kicking cancer's butt. If I can be as effective as the research manager in butt kicking, cancer has no chance.

One Malady at a Time

This week finds us dealing with yet another malady.

I had been waking up with a deep cough and decided to go to the local clinic last Friday. As luck would have it, the physician in charge was one of my nurse practitioner friends, Allie. She checked me out thoroughly and determined that I was going to live. She told me to get Claratin and things would dry up. It is not quite all the way clear yet, but it is improving.

I have added Milk Thistle to the mix, taking three pills each evening after dinner.

I have just had my third session of chemo and still have Bob with me. Bob is annoying. I have too many things to carry in my pocket as it is.

This time round, I have lost much of my voice, do not have much appetite (although, I did manage to handle some Halong Bay food for dinner this evening.) And I am really tired.

My voice must be really bad. The research manager who claims to have good hearing has a lot of trouble interpreting what I am saying. For example, if I say, "I am going to the rest room," she will say "you're arresting who?" If I say, "I am going to sleep," she will ask my why I am going to sweep. It goes on and on.

The  chemo and Bob have delayed further progress in putting my neck and back in place after the car accident. We will get back on track tomorrow after I get rid of Bob.

So, you can see that apart from a bad throat, no voice, a little nausea, some neuropathy, a bad back and sore neck, things are pretty good.In fact, once I get rid of Bob, none of those things will matter.

Looking up or looking down?

Where do I start describing this past week?

Well, let's talk symptoms.

As I said preciously, I have a little more nausea for the four or five days after chemo but I also have less sensitivity to cold.

This past week has seen the revival of dry mouth and mouth sores. In particular, I have a very sore spot right under the center of my upper lip. The dry mouth is primarily a factor at night, in that it wakes me up. The mouth sore is 24/7 and it affects my interest in eating some things. As a result, while I had gained 6 or 7 pounds prior to last week's chemo, I have lost all of that and perhaps a pound more since the chemo.

I have good energy and a positive outlook. I have played tennis every morning since last Friday and intend to continue. Having said that, I do get a little tired and enjoy the odd rest, except that, if I fall asleep, my dry mouth wakes me up.

Many have asked about my back pain from the shingles. While it was diminishing significantly, it seemed to recur on Monday morning. To be fair, I cannot blame the shingles. It was more likely due to the red BMW that rear-ended me. There was minimal damage to my car, much more to the BMW and my back, neck and wrist are on their way to the chiropractor tomorrow. The rest of me may tag along to see what the doctor says.

On a more serious note, I know that many of you have looked up to the research manager as have I. However, I have gotten a new perspective and must admit that I now look down on the research manager. My magnetic pad for my bed arrived last weekend and it raises me a few inches thus causing me to look down on the research manager who decided that she did not want a pad on her side of the bed.

For those that believe in symbolism, there is even more persuasive evidence, Our bath tub, has a small shelf on one side that begins to receive water only when the tub is half full. Similarly, it has no water when the tub is half empty as the water drains. I am sure that the cleaning lady wonders what five rubber duckies are doing in the tub, but they are. Frequently, and more often than any other, the one named Charlie ends up on the shelf looking down on the other duckies, causing the Charlie duck to look down on the duck named Carol, the research manager.

I am still wearing red shirts and was joined today by many in red at the bridge club. I was gratified for their support and then I realized that it was St. Valentines Day. I couldn't even kiss any of them because it hurts my mouth sore.

But a symbolic kiss of thanks to all of you for your love, caring, prayers and support.

I am positive except when it comes to magnets.

I have come to realize two things about myself as it relates to my cancer treatment.

The first is that I have come to peace with the fact that I will be dealing with my cancer for the rest of my life. There will always be some kind of treatment.

I am not fussed about this. I know that it will be a long journey, but it will be a journey to remember.

As I approach this, I am doing so with a positive attitude. I wake up each morning, expecting it to be a red shirt day. Every once in a while, I am not fully convinced, but I choose a red shirt as a prompt to my spirit.

For example, yesterday before going to chemo, I played two sets of tennis. I won the first set 5-5 and then I also won the second set 5-5. Always look on the bright side of life.

I went to the second lecture on magnets as a treatment for cancer and other ailments. The presenter is a fascinating guy who lives magnets. Apparently, you need more than a magnetic personality. The negative pole of a magnet is helpful in creating oxygen in your body and also alkalizing your body. Both oxygen and alkalinity help kill cancer cells. But the negative pole has to be what touches your body. The positive pole can actually make you feel worse. Someone asked what would happen if both you and your spouse used magnets. Apparently, the answer is you could repel each other.

I have ordered a magnetic pad and also magnets to place near my liver. I am glad that the research manager is not interested in them. If we had strong enough magnets, one of us would be on the floor.

Life goes on. I am choosing to do things that make me feel good. I think that is not a bad philosophy for most of us.

Oh yes. At this minute, one day after chemo, I am tired, slightly more sensitive to cold and just very slightly nauseous at times. But it is all livable.

Keep smiling. I am.

Things are a little different this time

Here I am eight days into the next round of chemo. Eight days since my first treatment.

It is interesting that my reactions are different this time round. What is different?

I. I am not as sensitive to cold

2. For the first 5 days, I felt a little nauseous in the morning, not wanting to eat and even spending a few minutes over the sink a few times. I did not feel this as much last time.

3. My neuropathy has not gotten worse, notwithstanding the fact that the doctor said that it would.

What have I done differently? Even though I have been very busy, I have tried to get a little rest whenever I can. And, I feel as if I am even more positive than before and I thought that I was positive then. The research manager credits diet. In general, I think that I am taking more ownership for my care than I did previously. I even got permission to drive myself most of the time.

Bottom line: I have been comfortable wearing a red shirt each day. Everyone says that I look good with a hint of surprise, Even the bank teller said that I look good in red. I shared my story with her and she seemed touched.

When I talk about being positive, it depends on what we are talking about. I was invited to a talk on the benefits of magnetic therapy. (I was driven there in a new Mercedes) The theory is that if you hold a magnet(s) to your body with the north pole facing your body (The north pole is the negative pole), it helps to alkalize your body and the more alkaline your body is, the tougher it is for cancer to survive. The second half of the presentation is this coming Monday and I intend to attend. It  has raised some interesting things to explore. And so, I am positive about being negative. By the way, the liph that I take also adds to alkalinity.

The nice thing is that the people that invited me also went to the lecture and stayed to drive me home.

This is in sharp contrast to my experience with the driver. On our way to return Bob last Thursday, I realized that I had miscalculated the time that Bob would finish. As a result, we were in the range of two hours early. We stopped for breakfast, but still had too much time to justify the driver staying and so I told her to head home and that I would get home somehow. She willingly did so because Roger Federer was going to be playing on the TV that afternoon.

When I got into the center, I found out that there was not that much time left and so I called the driver who was not far away and asked her to return. I cried, cajoled, begged, offered to throw her a tennis game, moaned, agonized, sobbed, shrieked and threatened a baseless lawsuit and finally persuaded her to return. What is more, she does not drive a Mercedes!

One final note: Our local Publix will likely be sending us food baskets in the future. When I was prescribed nausea pills in the spring, I perceived that they were expensive and not feeling I would need them, I only took eight rather than the prescribed thirty. When it became obvious this past week that I was in need of more pills, the research manager called and indicated that we had only taken eight pills originally because of the cost and asked what the full prescription of thirty would cost. After some checking, the clerk told her that the thirty pills would cost $22. I went to pick up the pills with old shabby clothes as would befit someone that would have difficulty spending $22 for pills. The clerk gave me a sympathetic look. I suspect that she is hoping the tax cut will make my life easier in the future.

I am looking forward to a restful weekend and then back to chemo on Tuesday. Always something to look forward to!

Back to the chemo again.

Yesterday was the first day back at chemo. One of the nice things is that you start off getting steroids. That set me up for the day.

I spent most of the five hours there diverting my attention using my wireless headphones and the IHeart radio app on my IPhone listening to music and selecting favorites. It was fun. I was the last person to leave the cancer center, the last man standing as it were.

Not that everyone thinks like that. When the driver picked me up, knowing that she has been looking for a new car, I suggested that she should get a black sedan (I had in mind a town car) and she said "Oh, a hearse?" Not what I had in mind. I told the research manager my idea re the black sedan when I got home. Her reaction? "You mean for a hearse?" I may need more support staff!

One downside to yesterday was that I forgot to shave around my port. As a result, Sherry, the most experienced nurse had trouble getting the tape that holds the connection to the pump (Bob) in place to stick. I suggested that she should perhaps get someone better to do it. She laughed. I think that I will pay for this on Thursday when I take Bob back.

As I was leaving I noticed a flyer about Drum Therapy for cancer patients. Now I want to tell you, at night, I used to fall asleep to drum meditation music. The research manager who finds music too stimulating to fall asleep called it "Bingo Bongo" music. It disappeared. I told her that was likely the cause of the cancer. She thinks it has more to do with my earlier diet.

As I was waiting for the elevator, a woman was waiting talking on the phone. She asked if her mother wanted to go to the "nail place." I told her that there was an Ace Hardware store just down the street. She smirked like younger people do at all of us old jokers.

The interesting news is that my CEA cancer marker has dropped further to 1.8. The research manager says that this is a good sign and should mean it will be easier to control this thing. Bob Wright may be right! At present, I am at the stage of taking liph (which not only tastes terrible, but also makes my body more alkaline.) We were pronouncing it "Life" until I got up a few days ago and said I was going to take my liph. We have decided to pronounce it Lif!

Where am I today? I had a great sleep last night and a decent day today, although I am tired and cold this evening. I find my appetite waning. The hiccups immediately after ingesting anything have reappeared as the first real side effect. Oh, and watching two people get engaged on The Amazing Race brought me to tears. My sensitivity is increasing as it did last time.

I looking forward to taking Bob back tomorrow. I will have to decide what color shirt is appropriate for the next few days. Yellow is second best. Blue is the worst.

Thanks to all for their concern, prayers, positive energy and help. I can soak up all the energy you can provide.