Things are Good!

What can I say about this past week?

Not much, but a few things.

First, many have commented on the good news of the petscan and say that it is a great thing to celebrate during this holiday season. Heck, I will celebrate it any time of the year and all year if things go according to plan.

Hand/Foot Syndrome continues to be the most pervasive side effect of the Xeloda pills. It is certainly bearable and far better than dealing with chemo infusions, but it does take some care to deal with. Thank goodness for Udderly Smooth cream. We buy it in bulk. I also have neuropathy symptoms and I find some things harder to do. Sorting cards is a little more challenging and this morning, I dropped a glass bottle of pills that shattered and spread all over the floor.

This week I also did something interesting. I was cooking some meat and set the oven for a certain temperature and waited for the oven to come to temperature. Once it was at the proper temperature, I set the timer for one hour and went off to do a little work while the meat cooked. I returned an hour later to take the meat out of the oven to baste it, only to discover that I had neglected to put the meat in the oven. As a result, we ate an hour later than planned and I am now on Alzheimer watch. I am glad that forgetting things is part of chemo and I will use that as my defense if the men in white coats come knocking at the door.

I mentioned earlier that we are sleeping in the guest room which has no television. I create a tv program vignette each night to make up for the lack. Christmas Eve, we had an amateur Christmas Song program. Believe it or not, we spent a full hour singing Christmas songs and reminiscing about Christmas's past. Anyone walking by would have thought we were crazy. But being crazy can be good.

All in all, all things are good. I am grateful for so much - the research manager, supplements, Xeloda, your support and prayers. Thank you to all involved.

Christmas Letters

We all get Christmas letters from relatives and friends. I am no exception. Some times they are a little hard to take.

Today, I would like to feature two such letters from two of my nephews who are polar opposites.

In summary, Harry writes that his children are wonderful, the family went on two exciting vacation trips. Harry is working as a missionary in the Yukon and his wife Matilda was elected chairwoman of the Home and School Association for Yellowknife..

He then discussed relatives and amazingly included me. He indicated that I had stage 4 colon cancer, but that my current treatment was working better than my doctor expected. He noted that my hand/foot syndrome was continuing to be an issue and perhaps having a little more effect on my tennis hand.

Sammy, his brother, is conducting research in Antartica (I told you they were polar opposites,) He is single but  indicates that he enjoys his work and boasts of travelling extensively. He is quite the researcher and had recommended Turkey Tail Mushroom capsules when he learned of my diagnosis, He wrote in hand at the bottom of his letter that he was upset that I did not mention Turkey Tail in my blog last week when I listed the many supplements that were helping in my cancer fight.

As I get more letters, I will share them if they are interesting. Maybe even on a night other than Wednesday.

Meanwhile, my dry mouth is getting slightly better and a bridge friend, whose daughter is a dentist has arranged to get me several samples of items that will help dry mouth.

I had one very proud moment this week. When the nurse at the cancer center injected the needle into my port for the infusion of Avastin yesterday, she was quite excited that I had "Good Blood Return." I have never been told this before and am so excited to have achieved this lofty goal.

It has made my Christmas. May you also have a Happy Christmas/Holiday. And a big THANK YOU for your support.

Good News.......er Great News

I am excited to tell you that the results from my petscan last Friday were better than I could have hoped for. My liver was very close to background, which is great. Anything in my lymph nodes is getting smaller.

So, the big question is why?

It could be any, part or all of the following:

The Xeloda
Curcumin
AHCC
Essiac Tea
Beta Glucan
Chaga Mushroom Tea
Far Infrared Saunas
Epsom Salt Soaks
My positive attitude
Exercise
The prayers and support of many.

I don't care which of these are effective. I will keep taking all these things. I am so happy that something(s) is(are) working as well as it(they) appear(s) to be.

Sure, I have hand/foot syndrome. Yes, I still have dry mouth. Yes, it took Jillian, a new tech at the petscan center three pokes to get blood out of me. But these things are worth it.

Meanwhile, people continue to tell me that I look younger. I was beginning to think about my roots. Would you believe that 23 and Me identified that I come from Ork!?

Thanks to the research manager for helping to get me to this point. Thanks to you all for your prayers and support. Don't take me off your or your church's prayer list yet. I need all the help that I can get.

Professional, Petscan and Publishing

Here we are,,,,,,another week and only a little change.

In terms of my health, the hand/foot syndrome is slightly worse, I think. You might think that this is not good news. However, there is an element of good news to this. I am going to wear two pairs of socks when I play tennis. Why is this good news? I have learned that most professional tennis players wear two pairs of socks when they play. So, I am being elevated to the professional ranks. I will effectively be the first 1.0 professional tennis player!

My mouth dryness persists, but the Biotene Gel is fairly effective.

This coming Friday, I will have my next Petscan, I am anxious to see the results, but also a touch anxious about the results.

Everyone knows that french fries are not great for my diet, but some days, I weaken and we get an order of fish and chips to share. The other day, I took about 9/16 of the fries and left the rest for the research manager. She alleges that she took 5/16 of the total number of fries and left 1/8 in the box. When I took my plate into the kitchen, there were no fries in the box.

Now, the research manager alleges that I took the 1/8 portion and that my guilt about it has repressed my memory.

I know that she must have taken the 1/8 portion and am sure that her guilt has repressed her memory of it,

If anyone has a video of our kitchen activities this past Monday, I would appreciate being able to prove the research manager wrong.

Speaking of wrong, based on last week's reveal about my recreating television shows, given that there is no television in the guest bedroom, I thought that I might recreate a "Days of Our Lives" scene (verbally!), As I began "John's" words, the research manager yelled "NO!" several times. Apparently, she does not enjoy that show.

Oh well, I will have a video of my Petscan on Friday and I hope that it will be a show that we can both enjoy.

On other fronts, I have submitted my book to a publisher and they are beginning an editing process. I will keep you informed.

I want more steroids

What a difference six days of steroids make.

I was prescribed steroids to deal with an itchy rash that developed due to the Xeloda. They proved to be very effective at dealing with the rash. They also gave me energy. I mentioned to the research manager that I had a lot of energy this past weekend. She reminded me that I was taking steroids and that was likely the reason.

I had blood tests yesterday and it proved to be a very positive event, notwithstanding the fact that there was a long wait due to spillover from the Thanksgiving days off last week. Most importantly, I got a Snoopy bandaid. In addition, my blood numbers were great. My white blood cell count was in the normal range for the first time in a long while and my platelet count was better. You'll never guess this, but the research manager pointed out that this improvement was also likely due to the steroids. I guess that any tennis wins this past week will have to be marked by an asterisk to indicate that my performance was steroid enhanced.

In terms of other side effects, the hand/foot syndrome continues. My fingers feel as if they have a bandaid on them (Snoopy, of course.) My feel are reacting and I am using a lot of cream to make them survive.

We are still getting over the water incident. Our bedroom is all disheveled and we are sleeping in the guest room where there is no television. As a result, each night, I feel compelled to recreate televison programs for our entertainment When I mentioned this at the tennis court, a few of the ladies recoiled in horror imagining that I was recreating One Life to Live or Days of Our Lives or some such racy show. Hmmm, I will have to check those shows out.

Speaking of the guest bedroom, the research manager usually wakes up early and often gets to work at her desk long before I arise. The other day she said that she could not lie there any longer. What lies was she telling? Will she continue to lie in other places? Such things to have to worry about.

The other day, I went out to play tennis with my shirt inside out, A few of the women noticed and told me. I think they were hoping that I would remove my shirt to reveal my near Nadal like body. They got their wish, but I made sure that not many of the women did not see this, It would of distracted them too much!

All in all, I feel good and many people tell me that I am looking good. Next week, I will have a petscan and we will be able to tell exactly where things are.

Thank you for your interest, caring, prayers and support.

Not as good as it looks

It is a tough night for a blogger. My "Notes" file disappeared from my phone today, leaving me with not much to base this blog on. However, I will do my best.

At tennis this morning, someone took some balls to play with and came back saying, "These balls look good, but they are not as good as they look."

That can be said of some people, they may look good, but their behavior is not good.

That can also be said of me. Many people say that I look good, but I may not be as good physically as I look.

I really am feeling pretty good, but..........

1. My hand/foot syndrome is slightly worse, creating blisters and red marks on my toes and soles. I am treating this with cream and it at times shows improvement and at other times, not so much.

2. I have developed an itchy rash, which is another side effect of Xeloda. I now have steroids to treat that.

3. I get tired easily. Of course, that could be affected by the 5 days of noisy water equipment that we had running in the house as the result of a cracked supply line nut. (It looks like we got away with less permanent damage than we thought, but will likely have to replace the vanity in the master bathroom.

4. I still have some dry mouth, but the Biotene gel is helping.

5. My hands are affected by a combination of hand/foot (well, the hand part) syndrome and neuropathy. They are sensitive touching or carrying anything that has an edge to it. Fortunately, tennis balls, tennis racquets and (censored by the research manager) do not have sharp edges.

My stock continues to rise with the receptionist for the far infrared sauna. Apparently, she tells people that are feeling down about me and my attitude. Having said that, I overheard her calling someone else sweetheart again this week.

That's all I've got for tonight. Thanks, Apple for losing my notes. No wonder that their stock is dropping.

Emergency

Things have been going along smoothly and you just know that something will happen. Well, it did.

I know you are thinking that I got a major set back or some new strange disease. Well, that is not true. I do have it confirmed that I have a mild case of Hand/Foot Syndrome. I am treating it by using Udderly Smooth cream three or four times a day. But that is not the emergency.

The technician gave me a Finding Nemo bandaid instead of a Snoopy bandaid when I did my blood tests yesterday, but I have survived that.'

The emergency is that the research manager came home this afternoon to find two inches of water in our master bathroom and water running through the carpet in the bedroom, in the cupboards and into the kitchen. The cause was a broken supply line to the toilet and it has resulted in several hours of working at removing water, having the plumber fix the supply line and finally having the water restoration people come to start the drying out process. I think they will be here till midnight and will leave all manner of equipment to run for four or five days. I guess that the guest bedroom beckons us tonight.

The hand foot thing has garnered a little attention. The research manager said that part of my toes looked as white as the sheet. I figured that I could solve that by using flesh colored sheets, but apparently the cream is a better solution.

When I quietly mentioned it to the blood technician, but that I wasn't going to tell anyone, she said that I just did and made me go to see the nurse. She watched to make sure that I went there rather than ducking out.

The nurse asked if she could look at my foot. I complied by holding up my right foot still clad with a sock and a shoe. She told me that she did not have X-ray vision and that I would have to take the shoe off. She felt that all was under control and to continue to use the cream.

Finally, two medical breakthroughs. The research manager has been complaining about snoring, mine, not hers. By coincidence, she also observed that I had been slacking off on my vitamin C. I have resumed that part of my 40 odd pills and liquids a day and, mirabile dictu, my snoring has stopped.

The second is that my friend Mike, from Canada, sent me some samples of Biotene Gel. I have been using the Biotene rinse and the Biotene spray, but not the gel. It works great and it has reduced my dry mouth issues and decreased the number of times that I wake up during the night.

I think that is enough for tonight. I will be watching Cash Cab or Jimmy Fallon until the water restoration guys are finished.

Fun at Publix

Developments on many fronts.

First, my blood tests showed significant improvement yesterday. White blood cells were up and other measures were decent. The doctor seemed happy.

My blood pressure was excellent  116/73, a number that I have not seen in a long time.

It is a good thing that they check my blood pressure before they prick my finger for my blood work because the bandaid that they used after the needle prick was a Snoopy Christmas bandaid. I was so excited that I am sure my blood pressure rose significantly.

I got my every third week infusion of Avastin. Even though the center was so full that I had trouble finding a chair, it went very quickly, much better than three weeks ago. Why this is particularly noteworthy is that, being old and forgetful, I arrived 90 minutes before my appointment time. I signed in as Al Exion and suddenly realized that I was early, but they took me anyway.

The research manager has determined that my mouth sores/dryness is in part due to the fact that I had not been taking my lypo-spheric vitamin C. She also claims that it has stopped my snoring.

My neuropathy is significant. I actually suspect that it may be a mild case of hand/foot syndrome, but it is so mild that I do not think about it. As long as I can play tennis, I will not talk about it. Ooops, I just did.

A lot of activity occurred at our local Publix store this week.

First, I was sitting in my car studying the shopping list when a woman came up to my driver's side door and her friend opened the passenger side door. I offered to drive them home, but apparently they had a white SUV also and got confused. I am glad that others are so inflicted.

A few days later, I stopped at Publix for a quick visit and as I backed out of my spot noticed that the research manager's car was right next to mine. I parked the car and went back into Publix and asked the clerk on what aisle they had wives. I found the research manager and was able to help carry out her purchases.

As we left, a man commented on what a great shirt I was wearing. That is ironic because it was one of the shirts that I wear when I get an infusion in my port. Because of the connection with the chemo infusions, I am not particularly fond of any shirt that has full buttons. I thanked him though.

That's about it for this week. Except to say that I continue to get hugs from Kim at the Hydro-colontherapy clinic. I think she is still trying to make amends for calling someone else "sweetheart." Besides that, she seems to like getting mentioned in this blog.

Hot and Cold

Wow. Lot's to report this week.

My blood numbers were not so hot yesterday. White blood cell count, red blood cell count, ANC, Platelets and Hemoglobin were all down. There was nothing to make me feel better as they took blood from my arm which meant a larger bandage and so no Finding Nemo bandaid.

However, I have big news to report! I received two packages of Snoopy bandaids. One was from Ann Onimus and the other was from Hugh Noes. My heart soared when I got them and I look forward to my next finger prick so that I can proudly sport a Snoopy bandaid.

I am back taking Xeloda as of last night. The interesting thing is that symptoms have varied during the off week. My mouth sore is gone and yet, my dry mouth is slightly worse. It happens at night, but disappears during the day. The neuropathy is slightly worse. What is interesting is that often my fingers are cold as I mentioned last week and yet when I wake up in the morning, they are warm. So, the night time adversely affects my mouth dryness and the daytime adversely affects my neuropathy.

For some of this past week, my tennis has been cold, but today, I was hot. Let's hope that it keeps up.

Finally, last week's sweetheart issue is getting slightly better. I got a hug from the Hydrocolontherapy receptionist last Thursday and she called me sweetheart yesterday. So, my self confidence is returning gradually.

I find it hot that so many people think that I look great. I think that many snowbirds were wondering what they would find when they got here. I am glad that they are pleasantly surprised.

Let's not call them Sweetheart

A kind of interesting week.

As the week of Xeloda came to an end, three side effects took center stage.

A mouth sore has reappeared. I definitely have dry mouth, including dryness in my lips. As a result, I have wakened at least one morning with blood on my pillow.

Also, neuropathy has gotten a little worse on my fingers and toes. As a result, my fingers are often cold.

Talking about fingers, I have jokingly asked at the cancer center if I could have a Snoopy bandaid when I have my finger pricked for blood tests. They have not ever been able to supply even one. As a result, I went to the store and purchased the next best thing......Finding Nemo bandaids. As a result, yesterday I was the first patient to walk out of the cancer center with a specialty bandaid on my finger. I am still on the lookout for Snoopy bandaids if anyone can help. The technicians at the center think that Snoopy bandaids are not so popular with kids these days and got into a lengthly discussion about all the characters from Peanuts. I gave my impression of the teacher. Wah, Wah, Wah, Wah, Wah.

Now, the side effects are not good but are  partially offset by joy of the bandaids. However, I was devastated this week. The receptionist at the place I go for Far Infra-red Sauna has repeatedly asserted that I was her favorite customer. However, I entered the facility on Monday to overhear her on the phone calling someone else "Sweetheart!"

You cannot imagine my disappointment. I may never recover.

Dr. Gill

A sort of interesting week.

I continue to feel good and many have said that I look good. Usually, they say that I look better than the last time they saw me. Hmmm.

I met with Dr. Patel yesterday and he seems happy with what is happening. Stability is the goal. Of course, it is hard to tell until the next pet scan that will be in early December. If things continue as he hopes, I can likely take Xeloda for 3 or 4 years.

As soon as I stopped taking Xeloda last week, my tennis declined slightly, but I went back on it last night and played a little more decently this morning. I would note that I played four sets last Saturday. Of course, that was the coolest day in a long time.

Last Saturday, I went to the Flea Market and in attempting a slick maneuver in my car, I got stuck in the mud. Boy, was the car dirty. People even commented on it as they walked by it. I was able to get out of the mud and off to the car wash without extreme humiliation.

But two humiliating things have happened.

The first is that I got a call from an antiques dealer looking for antiques. I realized that he might be talking about me, but apparently I did not qualify.

Secondly, the research manager insists on accompanying me when I get infusions, which I did yesterday (Avastin for a supposed 1/2 hour). However, she decided to stay home to wait for a visit from the air conditioning repair man. I can only assume that the air conditioner is more important.

I did learn patience, however, as the 1/2 hour Avastin infusion ended up taking almost 3 hours. There were many contributing factors. If I had been required to show even more patience, they would have had to start calling me Dr. Gill.

Off to bed soon. In the non-air conditioned bedroom! We are now waiting for a quote on the work required. More patience! I may make the research manager my nurse practitioner.

The Mexican Open

It has been a good week overall.

I am feeling good. My blood numbers are decent and my CEA has dropped from 3.8 to 3.1. The research manager credits Beta-Glucan, AHCC and Black Seed Oil.

I still have neuropathy in my fingers and toes, but there is no sign of hand/foot syndrome.

While I have dry mouth, the research manager has determined that my "mouth sores" are more likely caused by a sharp edge on a tooth than by the Xeloda. So, I am back to using Biotene rather than the Magic Mouth Wash.

I have determined that Xeloda does have some unusual side effects. My tennis has improved and I am looking good.

Here are the details.

I have been told by many that I look good, but on the weekend, I was told that I was handsome and the person making the comment said she would marry me if she wasn't already married.

The receptionist at the colon-hydrotherapy place declined my making a payment for my next ten sessions last week as she had already shut down her computer. I joked that I was surprised that she would not let me push her buttons that day. She told me I could push her buttons the next time I had a treatment.  She told me that she likes the way I goof around.

Now the big news. I have been told by many that my tennis has improved big time. I have played with one person fairly frequently lately and we virtually always win. I tell everyone that we are practicing for the Australian Open. Last Saturday, I was told that I was a wall on the tennis court. Hmmm.....maybe we are preparing for the Mexican Open!

We have survived Hurricane Michael with the possible exception that we could not play tennis this morning.

All in all, a good week. Thanks for your interest, prayers and support.

Seeds, sunscreen and a spiralizer.

It has been an eventful week.

I was off Xeloda until yesterday (Tuesday). Over the week, I experienced the following:

Some fatigue
Neuropathy in my fingers and slightly in my toes
Dry mouth
A mouth sore

However, in the last three nights, I have been able to sleep through the night for two nights, a rare feat!

My blood tests have been encouraging. Good blood pressure, a pulse of 59, increased white blood cell count and hemoglobin. My platelets are still low though. All in all, a good report. What is more, people say that I look healthy. I feel healthy.

The colonoscopy went well. I survived prep day with not too much difficulty. I actually looked forward to a sleep while on the table. Alas, it was all too short.

I awoke to be greeted by a friendly, caring research manager and shortly thereafter, a rather miffed GI doctor. Apparently my consumption of Dave's Powerseed bread caused several seeds to remain in my colon and they gummed up his scope three times, he noted gruffly. So, if you want to annoy your GI. eat seeds before your colonoscopy! There was one small polyp, but he did not seem concerned about that. Of course, would you be concerned about anything other that your clogged scope?

You may recall that to avoid skin issues while taking Xeloda I use sunscreen. The research manager found a list of acceptable sun screens and I purchased one of them which is a lotion. The only problem is that the zinc oxide kind of sticks on the skin, causing my arms to look white. I was asked what was wrong with my arms at the colonoscopy center and I told them it was leprosy! They soon figured out the truth.

The research manager has a new toy......a spiralizer......which she can use to make spaghetti-like spiral of things like zucchini. She tried it the first day and then used a recipe that night for dinner. I found it very hot (as in spicy hot) and was struggling. I went through 40 ounces of water just trying to get through dinner. When I said that it was hot, the research manager admitted that she found it hot also. I think she used half a cup of red pepper flakes instead of the half a teaspoon that the recipe probably called for. She promised to cut back next time and maybe even not put any in my half of the dinner. Since I find the spiralized zucchini pretty good, I look forward to that.

It is time for an epsom salt soak. I will pretend to read my book (Being Mortal - an interesting read), while listening to the baseball game.

Thanks for listening.

Returning to the scene of the crime

Well, here we are a day after the end of the second round of Xeloda and all, well most, is well.

The only thing that can complain about is some fatigue and a minor mouth sore, with a dose of dry mouth.

The good news is that I learned yesterday that the incidence of hand/foot syndrome is lower than I thought. Apparently the protocol of one week on and one week off of Xeloda creates less chance of hand/foot than other formulas. I also found that my numbers from the blood test had improved.

Tomorrow will be a quiet day for me as I prep for a colonoscopy on Friday. My GI doctor wants to make sure that all is well at the original scene of the crime. It is almost exactly 18 months after the discovery of my tumor.

The research manager was telling me about taking Miralax with Gatorade (actually G2) while we were purchasing it at Publix. She described it as Miralax with a G2 chaser. I was sort of listening, when she said "chaser" just as an attractive women with heels and short shorts walked toward the exit. I thought that she was telling me to chase her, but apparently not.

When I left the cancer center yesterday after my 1/2 hour infusion of Avastin, I was told that I should come in next week for "just" blood work. I am pleased that it will not be "unjust" blood work.

There has been an increased interest in Chaga mushroom tea lately spurred by my declaration that I have gone 18 months, often with very low white blood cell counts, without getting a cold. This, of course, includes exposure to hundreds of people at the bridge club.

All in all, things are good. Thanks for your interest and support, including those who thought of me during Yom Kippur.

Pretty Good

Pssst......are you still awake.

This Wednesday's blog is actually being done early Thursday morning. I am sorry that I am late.

Every morning, when I wake up, the research manager's first question is "How are you feeling?"

I invariably answer "Pretty good."

During the day, people ask me "How do you feel?"

I usually feel my skin and say "Pretty good."

What is "Pretty Good"?

From bottom to top.......

My feet have mild neuropathy, but not bad. We got wider shoes and some wonderful socks that keep my feet protected and feeling good.

My stomach and digestive system is in decent shape. Cholestyramine is doing wonders in keeping things under control.

My white blood cell count was not as good as I had hoped in the last blood test. I have to notify the doctor if I get any infection. My platelets are down, as is my red blood cell count.

My hands also have neuropathy. Again I protect them by wearing a glove when I play tennis. Yes....I only hit with one hand. So, technically, I only have to protect one hand. :)

I have one mouth sore which is somewhat controlled by rinsing and by using the Magic Mouthwash.

I have a few funny little bumps on my head, which the doctor says are normal.

I am now back on Xeloda and surviving. I actually feel "Pretty good."

Part of what made me late was watching the finals of America's Got Talent. I sat down on the couch next to the research manager and she said that she was getting goosebumps. That made me feel pretty good until I realized she was responding to one of the singers on the show.

The woman that I mentioned earlier continues to cross the tennis courts each day. I said "no" to the research manager's query about whether she was pretty,  "Good ," she said.

One thing that makes me feel pretty good is your interest and prayers. Thanks, so much. It is part of what empowers me.

Feeling Good

An interesting week.

This was my first week using Xeloda and it went fairly well. There are been no major side effects. I have lost about 1/2 of the weight that I gained during my respite week.  And my blood numbers have improved in virtually every category. Except my "Immature Gran" numbers are unchanged. So I am still as immature as before.

I am protecting my hands and feet, wearing a glove for tennis, new tennis shoes, thicker socks et cetera. So far no major issues with either, except perhaps a slight increase in neuropathy and my nails are growing irregularly and are chipping. I thought about using nail polish to cover my nails, but I could not find a color that I liked.

I am thinking about getting a pediatrician, er, a podiatrist to deal with the nails on my feet. Do you know the difference between the two? One deals with your feet and and other deals with those that can get under your feet.

I visited my GI doctor, yes the one who discovered my tumor that started my journey. He wants to do another colonoscopy just to check out what is happening down there. I will be doing that in a few weeks. I want to avoid a week in which I am taking Xeloda given the prep that is necessary.

After the exam, he asked me to close my eyes and forget that I ever had a colonoscopy, petscan or chemotherapy and then to tell him whether I felt like I had cancer. My honest answer was "no." He said that was good.

I was also buoyed by a study that indicated that tennis is one of the best forms of exercise to prolong your life (well, in this case, my life!) A significant part of the benefit is the socialization that you have with tennis.

So, all things considered, I am grateful for each and everyone of you that in different ways help me along this journey.

Above all, I continue to be astounded by the research and support that I receive from the research manager. "Thanks" is an inadequate word to express my appreciation.

Changes

This has been a week of change.

The first change is that I gained too many pounds during my week away. The interesting thing is that many have told me that I look great (better than before.)  So the best way to look good is to gain weight? It seems like only a few months ago people were saying that I looked good because I had lost weight. Who knows.

The next change or should I say changes result from leaving the research manager at home alone with her computer for a week. We have added several items to the repertoire. Black seed oil, K2, sublingual B12 and, of course, Xeloda.

The challenge is to know how to take them. I got a double whammy from the research manager this morning. I was to take the sublingual B12 before breakfast, which I did, holding it under my tongue for 30 seconds and then, emptying the kitchen sink of soapy water so that I could spit it out. Wrong. I was then supposed to swallow it. Later, after breakfast, the research manager asked why on earth I had let the water out of the sink as she was going to clean the frying pans from breakfast.She then realized and I had to admit it was to spit out the B12 that I was not supposed to spit out. So.......whammy one and whammy two!

My first visit yesterday was at the cancer center where I got my first infusion of Avastin in the new protocol. We then sped over to Moffitt Cancer Center for my second opinion meeting with Dr. Levine. He is an interesting guy, quite traditional with a friendly style. While I am hoping this connection will lead to future trials, in the meantime, there is total agreement that Xeloda is the right course for now. Dr. Levine indicated that there is a lot of ammo that we can use and my plan is to keep using traditional ammo until some new things are proven. He is ordering some tests on the tumor that was removed to help determine my suitability for such things as genetic manipulation.

I took my first 4 Xeloda pills last night and have done eight more today. This has brought more change. As an aside, I learned that my recent vitamin D reading was actually 81.9 and not 28. Apparently the doctor was looking at the wrong report. So, no more speedo and no nude bathing. That is a good thing for more than one reason. The real reason is that with Xeloda, I should avoid sunlight as Xeloda can affect the skin's reaction to too much sun. So, I now have a hat for tennis and am applying sunscreen.

The next change is that I am now wearing a glove to play tennis. A good percentage of people get hand and foot syndrome with Xeloda. This manifests itself as blisters on the hands and feet. So protection against trauma to the hands and feet is important. One of my doctors even suggested that I should not play tennis. Fat chance of that happening. I also have to apply a special cream to my hands and feet.

I read recently that depression can be a problem. I don't intend to let that happen, but just imagine, if you are getting treatment, got depressed and lived further south, you might cause a hurricane. Why? It would be a "tropical depression."

I wasn't going to include that last paragraph to spare you the groaner, but I changed my mind!

Preparation, peering, plates and prayers

You might say that this week is a sabbatical, a calm before the storm, a respite from the rest of the world, some time to build up my white blood cells and get ready for the next phase.

This coming Tuesday will be a big day as I mentioned last week. The pills are on the way and I will see the doctor at the cancer center to find out where my blood stands, get an infusion of Avastin and learn how to take the pills. Now, I have lots of experience in taking pills, but I guess there is more to learn.

After that, I will go to Moffitt Cancer Center to meet my new doctor there and learn of his thoughts. There seem to be a number of trials that might fit me either now or down the road and it will be interesting to see what comes out of that meeting.

What has happened recently? Well, a statuesque woman walked into the tennis court area a few courts from where I was sitting. She stopped and stared at me. I wondered why but one of the other tennis players explained that she was trying to see if I was wearing my speedo. I was not and she has not stopped to stare since

I am thinking of starting a new business. I looked at my plate the other day after I had finished eating and the remains on the plate looked rather artistic. I could spray the plate with some substance to hold the food in place and sell the plate as art. If this takes off, I could pay for my restaurant meals by giving the restaurant the rights to my remnants plate in the same way that Picasso paid for his meals by giving the restaurant one of his drawings. There is great potential here.

Finally, I ran into one of my bridge friends the other day and learned that I was still on her church's prayer list. That set me to wondering. I was at a wedding two weeks ago and realized that I was not on their prayer list. Hmmm......I may have to start a campaign to get on more lists. But then, "The effective prayer of a righteous man avails much," so how many prayer lists do you have to be on?

: Cancer

It is a little later than normal to be doing this blog, but here I am.

I met with the doctor yesterday. His opinion is that things are stable and has set me up for the Xeloda pills starting Tuesday September 4. I think that this is the right course for now. We will be doing a few extra things, but some of that will be settled after September 4, when I also see Moffitt Cancer Center for their second opinion. The do have some studies going on that I may qualify for. In general, the oncology approach is to go the traditional  route and only look at things like immunology and other such things until you get to the point at which the traditional therapies are not working.

I have had blood tests that show a few interesting things. The first is that my potassium is modestly low. I am now taking potassium pills which rival horse pills in size.

The second is more serious. My Vitamin D count is disturbingly low. The average person should be at 30. Mine is 28, but I should be at 40 to 60 to properly battle cancer. I will be taking even more D capsules, but the research manager says that I need more sun exposure than just my arms and shins, which is all that is exposed when I play tennis. I appear to have two options.


1. Play tennis in a Speedo bathing suit.  or
2. Petition the board of the condominium association to allow nude sunbathing.

I am sure that you find neither option to be attractive.

The blood test now reflects a new measure "Immature Gran." Mine is 0. Does that mean I am really immature or that I am very mature? What do you think the empirical evidence shows?

Finally,, I spent part of Monday cleaning out my closet and am about to donate approximately 50 tee and polo shirts to a thrift store. However, I am prepared to sell any of them to anyone interested for $10. If you want the shirt autographed, that can be arranged for $25. A special package is also available which includes the shirt, the autograph and a photo of me wearing the shirt for only $50. Act now before they are all gone............................................................. to the thrift store.

I was asked the other day if my blog address included "colon" spelled out or was it the ":". I would think that if a ":" had cancer, it would look like a semi-colon, accounting for the tumor!

Gotta run. Thanks for your interest and support.

There is a lot to report tonight.

First and foremost are the results from my petscan. The scan showed slight improvement and basically indicated that things were steady. We are regarding this as good news. I feel good and strong and expect to go to Xeloda when I meet with the doctor next week. It may not start till after Labor Day. That assumes that we go with the Xeloda option.

We have done six seminars on alternative cancer therapies and have some things to add to our routine. Far Infrared Suana, infusion of Vitamin C, Ozone infusion and a few other options have presented themselves. Much of the presentation dealt with digestive issues. (see below)

I also have a list of clinical tests that are being conducted assuming no use of Xaloda and can get another list assuming I do Xeloda.

There will be much study and thought during the next few weeks.

On the household front, we had a plumbing disaster in the kitchen. Fortunately, there was no major overflow from the sink. However it caused excitement for a few days as obviously the drain was clogged.

Later, Carol was talking about 20 years of sludge being built up. I though she was talking about my digestive system, but thankfully, she was talking about the garbage disposal that fed the drain. Apparently carrot shavings are good for my digestion, but not so good for drains.

I had occasion to take a short flight this week and was impressed by the airline. While I didn't take it, I was offered a complementary head set. I thought later that I should have taken it as I like it when people tell me that I am looking good or offer any kind of compliment.

Secondly, I was just behind the emergency exit rows. The stewardess said that if anyone in those wanted to be moved, they could be. No one wanted to be moved, but I wondered what kind of story the stewardess would tell them to move them, likely to tears.

It is getting late and so I will go off to bed, dreaming of Amy, the new attendant at the clinic where I get my petscan. She is attractive, greets all patients with a smile and went out of her way to get me my report the same afternoon of the test. Another woman in my life! Don't tell the research manager.

Butterflies, Eagles and Ostriches

How am I doing? Well, I feel very good. It is amazing what a few weeks away from chemo will do for you, well for me, anyway.

I do have dry mouth. I do have a little neuropathy. However a few people have told me that I look better than I did last time they saw me.

With my dry mouth, a topic of conversation in the morning is about sleep. The research manager always asks, "How did you sleep." I always answer "lying down!"

I have taken to watching a few minutes of Jimmy Fallon before I fall asleep. The other night, he played a tape of The Bachelorette. In it, one of the suitors said that while most people feel butterflies in her presence, he felt eagles!

My tennis is slowly improving. In fact, I received New Balance clothing in the mail. I assumed that is because they wanted to sponsor me. I also received Nike socks and I have Champion shorts and shirt also. Then I remembered that I had purchased these items and so, I guess, I have no sponsor.

Apparently, the key is to wear Adidas clothing. I had a tennis lesson this morning and the coach had Adidas clothing on and he hit the ball fairly well. I will have to order Adidas next.

I do appreciate your support. It gives me ostriches in my stomach when I think of your support of me and my journey!

Annoyances

You would be surprised at how long the effects of chemotherapy last. Here it is two weeks since my last chemo and there are definite effects still present. The primary one is that my white blood cell count is still very low, slightly improved after my shots last week, but not nearly what the shots have done previously. There are also slight annoyances which I will discuss shortly.

Meanwhile I have another 20 days before I meet with Dr. Patel and 12 days till my petscan. A nice holiday!

I am heartbroken that Dr. Haider, one of the many women in my life has left Moffitt for Tampa Bay General. I will see another doctor in early September, but it will not be Dr. Haider.

Over the past week, I have accumulated the top ten annoyances currently in my life:

10. I previously talked about my problem with odd numbers of eggs in the carton. While I have made some progress, it now bothers me when the number of eggs left in the carton is not divisible by three since that is the number of eggs that we eat each morning.

9. I cannot stand the little horse in the Dr. Pepper commercials. If you have not seen one of these adds, celebrate your good fortune. They are as annoying as political ads.

8. I still have neuropathy in both fingers and toes. Apparently it takes at least 6 months to improve.

7. It annoys me when my tennis opponents call one of my shots out when it is clear to me that the shots are in. It is equally annoying when I call a shot out and they believe it was in.

6. My nails are brittle and split easily.

5. People often do not understand what I am saying. I can't believe that almost everyone in my life needs hearing aids!

4. There are people who put the toilet paper on the roll so that the next sheet is at the back of the roll rather than coming over the top and down the front. Apparently, it may take a rocket scientist to change the toilet paper roll.

3. Dr. Haider has left the building. At least the one that I used to meet her in.

2. I still get tired easily. I think this is largely related to the white blood cell count. Hopefully it will improve.

1. Oh, darn. I can't remember number one. But that is common, with chemo brain, I often forget things.

I know that each day we should count our blessings. That is easy. It is having all of you in my life.

Energy Crisis

Here we are a week after chemo and I think I can see light at the end of the tunnel, well this tunnel anyway.

The major issue this past week has been tiredness and lack of energy. This was proven when I had my blood tests yesterday and came up with a very low white blood cell count. As a result, I had a neupogen shot yesterday and again today to build up those white blood cells. I am beginning to feel more energy already.

I played tennis yesterday and again this morning with mixed but not all negative results. Mind you, I had gone the previous 5 days undefeated. The fact that I couldn't play two days because of Bob and three days because of rain is irrelevant.

The other day, I had a sit down with the research manager to talk about diet. Well, I had a lecture about diet. I heard the word ketogenic several times. Then we turned on the television and immediately heard a commercial that started "Here's what I want for Charlie's diet." That was about dog food but it resembled what I heard before turning on the TV.

One of the things we are trying to do is to sit quietly and listen. I was listening to Cash Cab the other day and the research manager started talking about listening, thereby making it impossible to listen. Oh well.

I am now going a month without any treatment and will see the doctor on August 21. Meanwhile, I get to recover. I will have a petscan on August 13.

Thank you all for your interest, prayers and support. I am grateful for all.

Doing not too badly

Last Wednesday, I was just recovering from some digestive issues and about to go to a colon hydrotherapy session the following day. That session went well and things have steadily improved since then. In fact, it is now the day after chemo and I am feeling generally well. I am tired tonight because I was out for a good part of the day, but otherwise things are ok.

While I was at the colon hydrotherapy clinic, they offered to do a foot detox. I agreed to do it and I think it was helpful, but who knows. When it was finished, the assistant said that she was going to rinse my feet with plain water. I told her that I preferred train water, but I think that it went right over her head.

Prior to every chemo, I meet with either the doctor or the nurse practitioner. You may recall my affinity for nurse practitioners. Yesterday, I met with a physician's assistant. I will tell you that they rate right up there with nurse practitioners!

I learned yesterday that I will have a month's holiday with no treatment, not meeting with the doctor till about the third week of August. This will be a nice break. I expect that we will then begin use of the pills (Xaloda) every other week and a 1/2 hour infusion of Avastin every other week also. That is far more palatable for me than what I have been going through.

I may have told you about the butterflies around the tennis court. I regard them as reminders that there are people both here and up there that are looking out for my welfare and I am grateful.

Speaking of tennis, I got an email sharing with me movie titles that could apply to tennis. Here are a few of the good ones:

Love Story
Drop shot Dead Gorgeous
Great tennis balls of fire
Doubles indemnity
The bad call of the wild. - This is one for when I play tennis, the opponents are always making what I perceive to be bad calls. I usually challenge by saying "What?", but they pay no attention and call the ball out anyway.

It is late and I am tired. Off to bed. See you next week.

The plumber

Wow. A great response to the Name that Book request. Thanks to all for their ideas. At this minute, it looks like "Notes from a Cancer Survivor (Smiling almost all the way) is the leader but the book has not been published yet.

I find it hard to isolate time for the finishing touches on the book, the forward and appendices are almost as much pain to get done as the disease itself. However, it will be done as soon as I can. Then it will apparently be about a 5 month process to get it out there. I will keep you posted.

Now, how are things going? In general, many things are ok, Before I report what the week has brought, I want to update you on the repair situation here at our home.

We had a leak in our air conditioning. The repairman came and said that we needed a new pan which requires about 4 hours of work.

Next, our washing machine is leaking water during the spin cycle. The repairman said that we needed a new pump at a cost of not much less than a new machine.

The third repairman, a plumber, said that the outlet pipe had gotten a little clog and that the pressure of the debris building up had caused a small rip in the pipe at the end. He said that if we applied a gel to the rip, it would be almost as good as new in a few days.

Well, it was my pipe. The plumber is the GI doctor. I think you can fill in the rest. Sure enough, after a few days of significant discomfort, I am almost back to normal, whatever that is.

My blood test numbers were good yesterday. My weight is back down. Blood pressure is good. White blood cells are low, but decent. Hopefully, they will stay high enough to get my final treatment of this series next Tuesday.

The magic mouthwash has eliminated any sign of mouth sores this time round, I still have modest dry mouth, but it is okay. It wakes me up once or twice each night.

I am back to playing tennis and that feels good.

Tomorrow will be an exciting day. I have an appointment for a Colon Hydrotherapy session. Don't ask, if you don't know what that is. I had two previously and listening to the therapist's running commentary is interesting.

I am now working on movie titles that can be subtly changed to apply to tennis. The first one? A Ball too Far. Suggestions are welcome.

So, life goes on. I am enjoying it and hope that you are too.

Name That Tune, er Book

The day after chemo.

Hmmm.....I didn't feel too bad all day. I did not have much of an appetite and after being out all afternoon, I am really tired. I just had a three hour sleep and now 20 minutes later, I want to go back to bed already.

The good news is that I was prescribed this new magic mouth wash. It was a little awkward getting it though. It had to be compounded in Orlando and was shipped overnight packed on ice. It was to arrive Thursday, but our elevators were down due to a heavy lightning storm. I retrieved a note later that evening telling me they would try again on Friday. Sure enough, it was left in the lobby early Friday morning. I don't know why they couldn't leave it in the lobby the night before. But having gotten it, it has worked wonders with my mouth sore.

Now as to dry mouth, I realized on Sunday that the fact that I seem to be breathing through my mouth when I am sleeping may have something to do with it. Duh. I am now taking Claritin and concentrating on breathing through my nose. It is helping.

I am not sure if it is my enunciation or the research manager's hearing, but she often mishears what I say. Last week, I said that I was musing about bridge and she asked what music had to do with bridge. I immediately launched into song with the line "I will bid one spade and maybe you'll bid two." I would go on with a full song, but my singing is worse than my speaking.

Now, I need your help. The conversion of my blog to a book is progressing, but we need a title. I had originally used "My surprise Journey," but that does not really describe the book. We have mused (No not music, dear research manager) about a few ideas:

Diary of a Cancer Patient (smiling all the way) or Notes from Cancer Survivor (s a t w)

Positively Surviving Cancer

Surviving Cancer with a Smile

But I would like your thoughts, suggestions.

Please email me with your ideas (cfgill@verizon.net). I would be most appreciative.

I have now been up for 40 minutes. Back to bed after I take my pills!

Sleep like a horse?

Well, folks, we are 8 days after chemo and we have survived. I am back playing tennis. The major problem with that is getting enough people to play each day. But, it is important to exercise and for me tennis is the most attractive exercise alternative. I have lost 9 pounds from last week. Thank goodness! I had gained that much the previous week.

The only issue is my mouth dryness and mouth sores. During the night, my mouth gets very dry and there are sores in my mouth that both hurt a lot and also bleed during the night. The research manager is getting tired of showing me how to clean blood off pillow cases.

I have been researching how a horse sleeps standing up. If I can figure out the secret, I will try it. That way, I will not have to lay down and my mouth will not become dry. Any suggestions on how to achieve this would be appreciated.

I usually wake up just in time to get out on the tennis court. As a result, I do not take the time to consult what I look like and more than once, I have arrived at the courts looking like Dracula with blood dripping from my mouth. I am sure the research manager will be horrified when she reads this!

The cancer center has now prescribed a concoction also called Magic Mouthwash, but with more ingredients than the simple one that I have been using. It is mixed at the labs in Orlando and sent with an ice pack overnight. It will arrive tomorrow. Fingers crossed that it will be helpful.

Some of my time. but even more of Andy's and the research manager's time, is being spent on getting my book to the point of publishing. Figuring out what route to go (literary agent, publishing house directly, self publishing companies, et cetera.) I think the end product will be attractive, useful and successful, but there is a lot of work to make all of that happen.

It is late. Time for bed. Maybe if I sneak into the bedroom quietly, the mouth sores won't realize that I am sleeping and will stay away.

My Life Goes On

Here I am the day after chemo and I do not feel to badly.

I do not have a great appetite and am tired. No mouth sores yet, but I do have dry mouth.

I have determined that drinking cold water may aggravate the mouth sores and so I am sticking with room temperature water at this point.

I have developed some sensitive spots on my head, but I am told that is natural for chemo, somewhat the same as mouth sores.

It is a good thing that I do not have a big appetite because I gained about 7 pounds while my father was visiting. No explanation. It just happened.

My book is nearing completion. All the drawings are done and I just have one appendix and a cover to complete it. I have two possible publishers and am working with one first to allow me to make any improvements that they would like to see before I submit the manuscript to the second.

As you know,, the chemo seems to affect speech and I know that I am often hard to understand Well let me tell you, yesterday I met a man undergoing his first round of chemo who was virtually impossible to understand. I hate to think what he will be like after a few sessions.

This week, I have learned of three people from the bridge club passing. Life is challenging when you get older. I am grateful for good care, a caring research manager, lots of encouraging comments and prayers. ( I just got added to another church prayer list!). With such support, I continue to be optimistic about my outcome. Thanks for the part that you play in the process.

Happy Fathers Day

My father has arrived for a visit and as a result, I am feeling great. The reason is that I was able to postpone chemo for two weeks so that I can feel good for Dad's visit. Thanks, Dad!

About the only two things that I am feeling now are the normal neuropathy and dry mouth.

Oh, yes........there is also the issue of chemo brain. I do forget things. For example, when I got home with Dad, we forgot to bring his luggage up from the car. We had to stop the elevator half way up and go back down to get it.

It gets so bad, that when they post a Silver Alert, ( an alert that an old guy is meandering down the highway, not knowing where he is) I have to check closely to see if they are talking about me!

Some things are improving though. I am now able to tolerate having three or nine eggs in the carton knowing that since we eat three eggs each morning, it will even out every other day.

Also, I am trying to keep up with technology. While I am not as involved as some, I do have an active text life! What is more, I like playing with "emails."

That's all that I have for tonight.

Happy Fathers Day for those that are fathers.

Black is the new red.

Here it is Wednesday and you will be surprised to learn that I have no mouth sores, not much tiredness and I am eating somewhat normally!

How is that possible?

When I went for chemo yesterday, my white blood cell count was 2.0, close to the lowest ever and my ANC was .9, the lowest ever.

As a result, I did not get chemo, but rather had shots to boost those counts both on Tuesday and today (Wednesday). I may get chemo next week, but I am negotiating this as my dad is arriving next Wednesday for a visit. I am hoping to put it back two weeks. I will find out tomorrow.

What else has happened in the past week?

1. Chemo brain affected the clothes wash. A roll of masking tape accidently fell into the dryer and managed to engage itself with a fitted sheet. As I worked my way through the result, I thought that the elastic part of the sheet was being separated from the rest of the sheet. After a few minutes of sorting this out, I discovered the masking tape reality.

2. On Sunday June 3, we made a run to the east coast of Florida for one of the research manager's GAL cases. On the way, the car front bumper and windshield was attacked by love bugs. Apparently their is season is mid-April to the end of May. I guess all of the bugs that we were encountering were pregnant, because were all "late."

3. Black is the new red. I have taken to wearing more black shirts than red these days. I consistently get compliments on how I look in black and so I am wearing more black. Nothing wrong with red, but I am liking black better. We have a "Purple Party" on Saturday in support of the Alzheimer's Association. I am wondering about something purple. Shirt? Socks? Hair? Hmmm.

I'll let you know next week!

Best Blood Pressure ever!

How to describe this past week?

It was one of the tougher ones  The major issue has been mouth sores and dry mouth.

Oh yes, I also developed a rash on my left leg.

Oh, and I had a tooth infection.

Well, I also had to have two shots on Friday and Saturday to boost my white blood cell count.

If you listen to the research manager, I also have trouble speaking properly. However, I caught her miss-hearing things said on the television this past week. Therefore, I am somewhat skeptical of her observation. If it weren't for the fact that many others have trouble hearing me, I would discount her perspective entirely.

However, a prescription for an antibiotic and one for steroids for the rash and one for the dry mouth seem to be improving things and I am just these last few days beginning to feel human.

This past week has also brought some stress building events. First, the research manager getting a call at 3am advising her that one of her guardian ad litem children had run away. A few days later we, well she, ended up dealing with an emergency dental issue at midnight. I could not get my car to start because the ignition had locked and had to wait two days to get it fixed.

But, I want you to know that with all that stress, my blood pressure was the lowest ever (117/76) yesterday. Further, the shots have boosted my white blood cell count to a slightly more acceptable level. If we relax, things will work out as they should.

One final piece of advice. Never, and I mean never, let the research manager ride in your car. You will hear everything that is wrong with it and your car's feelings will be hurt.

Looking good or good looking

Well, here we are the day after chemo. Bob and I are putting up with each other. I am tired, but doing not too badly yet.

I had another good meeting with Dr. Haider at Moffitt on Monday. She is so sensitive to allowing me to maintain my lifestyle that it is refreshing. She suggested a slight modification to my treatments that may help with the mouth sores. In addition, the cancer center prescribed something called Magic Mouth Wash, a mixture of Benadryl, Lidocaine and Maalox to help with the mouth sores. I am to swish this four times a day. Oh yes, I also got an antibiotic for a tooth infection.

What really excited me is that Doctor Haider, a young attractive doctor, told me that I look good. Is that the same as good looking?

On Tuesday, I learned that my white blood count is very low. Just high enough to get my treatment, but still low. As a result, I will be getting shots to boost my immune system on both Friday and Saturday.

I continue to forget things. Last Saturday, the research manager gave me a recipe that had come in the mail for a chicken dish. I faithfully went to the store, bought all the ingredients and came home without the recipe. Boy, was I in trouble. I screwed up my courage and called Denise Hobbs, a realtor who had sent the recipe, asking if I could get a second copy. She emailed it to me and asked me to tell her if it was good. Meanwhile, the research manager had come up with a variation, that was very good. I sent a note back to Denise, thanking her for the recipe and telling her that I really enjoyed dinner. Don't tell her what happened though.

One of the recent internet phenomenons is the Yanni-Laurel conundrum. The research manager found a site that explained why some people hear Yanni and some Laurel and how different ranges can change what you hear. All I ever heard was Yanni. The research manager is mostly Laurel. I guess opposites attract.

I have to get back to the second period of the hockey game. It is a good distraction.

We have taped the Survivor finale to watch it over the weekend. There are benefits to being sick: you get your television choice!

The Beat Goes On.

Well, folks, we have the results of the petscan from yesterday.

There has been slight improvement from 2 months ago and the results are about equal to where they were back in July 2017, which was also after 4 months of chemo.

It, therefore, appears the Dr. Patel's additional 4 sessions of chemo is appropriate. Hopefully, these final  4 sessions will have the same beneficial effect that the final 4 did last fall.

Having said that, we will still b talking to Moffitt for their thoughts and we are also keeping an eye on alternate therapies which may be useful going forward. Obviously, supplements and diet are a constant as we go forward.

Keep smiling. There is a lot of work to be done here.

I am saddened to report that my dear cancer email correspondent passed away on Sunday. I picture Mary Jo joining some others who have passed previously in rooting for my recovery. I had the privilege of meeting MJ's daughters and husband today. The great news is that they said that they will be praying for me. I am fortunate to have so many prayer warriors in my corner.

This past chemo was tough. I felt fatigued, not very hungry and had significant mouth sores, particularly at night. The research manager has perfected the way to get blood off my pillow cases.

Tennis continues to be part of my routine. However, we had an interesting incident last week. The driver made, what I thought was a questionable call on one of my shots. When I commented on it after the game, she said that she learned it from me. Naturally, I was offended and said so. She responded in kind and, it was only by the grace of God that one of the other players was a therapist and was able to talk us down to peaceful coexistence.

We are now eating or taking out food from Nori Thai in St. Pete Beach. They know me well by now. When I went in tonight, my favorite waitress said, "Pick up, Charlie?" I said that I had gone to many bars looking for a pick up with not much success.

Oh well, I haven't had a put down either!

Time prevents further comments here. I have a couple of left of center comments if you ask.

 Keep smiling. Chemo resumes next week and before you know it, it will be over. Ah, the good life.

Tough News

Some tough news this week.

As we approached chemo yesterday, I was feeling pretty good. Dry mouth was the only thing of note bothering me.

My numbers were okay before I met with Dr. Patel. But my White Blood Cells and Red Blood Cells were low and my platelet count was very low at 88. When I ask about the numbers, I am told that they are okay for someone on chemo. I am not sure that reassures me.

Then I met with Dr. Patel who advised me that no matter how good my petscan was next week, he was recommending another 4 rounds of chemo. He indicated that the full 6 months of chemo followed by maintenance was the most effective treatment. I, obviously am not delighted by this, but, it is what it is.

The research manager said that she thought that Dr. Patel wanted to do four more sessions because I am a good responder. Do you think that allows me to join events that recognize first responders? Or to get free things offered for first responders?

Some interesting observations from the week.

I went to buy a few shirts and picked up a neat red and black shirt (size L) that went well with my tennis shorts. When I put on the shirt, it looked more like a muscle shirt and I decided to return it. When I looked at the labels, I realized that I had purchased a kids large! Talk about chemo brain.

We had a great Kentucky Derby party this past Saturday. I won first prize for the best men's costume as I dressed up as a bookie. The interesting thing is that I forgot how to tie a tie. I finally figured it out, but it is indicative of what life in Florida does for you.

The cleaning lady comes every other Monday. I have always wondered what she thinks of the rubber duckies. Monday evening, I found that they were all moved from the places that I had left them Sunday night. Now I don't know how to interpret their locations since they have been interfered with.

Finally, I have found myself migrating to black shirts and dark gray shirts. I wear them when I know that I will not be seeing anyone that knows about red shirts. Imagine my surprise when I dropped into Halong Bay in a dark gray shirt and one of the waitresses asked why I was not wearing a red shirt!

So, folks, I want you to know that a black or dark gray shirt is now also a good sign. Green and Blue is still away down the list. Yellow is in the middle.

That's about it for tonight. Last night, I slept for 11 hours and I am hoping to do the same tonight. Rest is good.

One final note. My friend from Tampa who has pancreatic cancer has had a very tough time. She needs all the support and prayers that we can offer.

Uncle O.G.

What a difference a few days make.

It seems like just yesterday that I did not want to eat, had dry mouth, mouth sores and a lot of fatigue.

And then last night, my favorite bridge group threw an early birthday party for me with lots, and I mean LOTS, of good food. I did not feel like eating this morning, but that was only because I ate so much last night.

Today, I played three sets of tennis (don't tell the research manager), went to the club, came home and have been doing work since I got home, with no rest. Now that is how it should be.

I had blood tests yesterday and the results were okay. However, my white blood cells were low (1.8) and my ANC also. (1.1). These put me on the edge of needing shots to boost my immune system. Hopefully it will improve sufficiently to allow the 8th session of chemo next Tuesday. I was given a free bottle of Mugard, which is very effective for mouth sores. Since the retail price approaches $800 per bottle, it ought to be effective!

I don't want to discourage people from offering to do anything I wanted, but I am finding many empty promises. I usually ask for a new car, but the offer quickly disappears when I ask that. If I had a nickel for every time that happens, I could probably buy a new car myself!

When I go out of the house, the research manager has taken to doing a checklist to make sure I have everything that I need. However, when I come home she is not there to do a similar checklist. As a result, with my chemo brain, I have often left my keys in the car. So now, I try to do my own checklist and keys is at the top of the list.

Last week, I asked for help with names to use when signing in at the cancer center. I actually got many suggestions. Here are just a few:

Mack A Roni
Willie Doit
Betty Wont
Jim Boree
Dan D Lyon
Frank O Fone
Uncle O.G.

Think about that last one!

Time for a soak. Here's to a great weekend.

Fake Names

Well, here I am the day after chemo. The major issue is that I do not feel like eating and I am also tired.

I had dry mouth last night and can see it getting worse tonight. I will take some precautionary medicine, like Biotene.

I am hoping that I will be back in the swing by Friday, but to be realistic, it may be Saturday.

This morning, I had a major coughing spell that approached throwing up. I think it was caused by nasal drip and have purchased more Claritin. The research manager declared "It's not in the stomach." Apparently she meant "It's snot in the stomach."

I have one more chemo in two weeks and then a petscan the following week. At that point, there are two alternate approaches for maintenance. One is effectively the same routine as I am doing now with the most damaging drug dropped. That would mean a four hour visit every two weeks and the pump. The other is pills. A possible side effect is what they call hand and foot disease, which is lesions on your hands and feet. There is about a 16% chance of this happening .I am leaning to the pills. I think it gives me the best lifestyle choice.

I inquired about immunotherapy and was advised that while it is a possibility down the road, it is not for now. At some point, they would do a test on my tumor. When I pointed out that the tumor was gone, I was advised that samplings from the tumor are kept for the future. So, there is actually a museum of tumors. I asked if we could make the museum public and could I get a royalty on entrance fees. Apparently not.

I do need your help on one issue. When I sign in at the cancer center, I usually use a fake name. Things like Mike Rofone, Ann O. Rexic and Sally Forth. I am running out of ideas. Any suggestions that I could use would be appreciated. I need two each week. Thanks.

Off to Paris?

Well, here we are, a week out of the most recent chemo and I am finally feeling pretty good.

The five days after last Tuesday were a little rough with mouth sores and dryness, neuropathy, lack of appetite and fatigue. But other than that, things were great!

The last couple of days have been great with improving mouth dryness, increased appetite and more energy.

Tennis has been going not badly also. When I have a good partner, I do well. When I have a nice partner, even better. Fortunately. all of the tennis group are nice.

Anything else happen? Well, yes.

My fingernails have gotten brittle and crack at the edges. I decided on the weekend to get a manicure to see if that would help. It did for a day or two, but the rough edges are returning.

Also, new news on the black spot on the toe. It seems to be getting better. The Research Manager who documents everything takes pictures of my toe. The other day, while I was sleeping, she snuck (sneaked?) into the room and took a picture of my naked toe sticking out from a hole in my sock. I have heard of people taking pictures of people while they are sleeping and defenseless and now I am such a victim. Photo evidence shows improvement.

I have two more chemo sessions before the next petscan and at that time, I will have to decide on one of two approaches to maintenance. One involves pills and the other involves more frequent visits to the cancer center and a few days every other week with Bob. The whole issue is what yields the least bothersome and toxic side effects. This is a tough decision.

Speaking and hearing properly remains a problem. Today, I heard the Research Manager refer to "Parisites", which can play a role in getting rid of dead cancer cells. I immediately thought of flying off to France to see the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower and the Arc dueTriomphe, all of which are Paris sites. But apparently she was talking about Pericytes.

I guess I am stuck in St. Petersburg for a while longer.

Thanks again for your interest, prayers and encouragement..

Studying My Bears

Well, here we are the day after chemo and on day 2 of the pump, which will be gone tomorrow.

I find that I am tired and with not much appetite.

So far, I have a little dry mouth, but not bad.

I feel some neuropathy.

The interesting thing is that I have developed a black spot on my big toe. There is a wide range of possibilities for this, but the doctor thinks my tennis shoes are too tight. Time will tell.

I had a good weekend with my son. The only thing of note is that I found myself getting emotional in circumstances where I was watching people excelling in their work. I have always found joy is seeing success and I seem particularly susceptible in my current condition.

Yesterday at the cancer center was unusual for a few reasons.

1. We found out that the dog Bob, who my pump is named after has died. This raises the question as to whether my pump should be renamed. I am thinking of reversing his name, by spelling it backwards.

2. As mentioned last week, the driver was away this week. I had an alternate driver lined up, but the research manager wanted to talk to the doctor and so we went together.

3. This proved to be beneficial for a guy named Walter who is blind and had to go to get his blood typed before getting a transfusion the next day. He had no way of getting there. The research manager offered to take him to the testing center and then to drive him home. Now all the staff at the cancer center love the research manager for what she did.

I don't know if my speech has become a total mumble or if the research manager is becoming hard of hearing. Last night I told her I was going to eat some berries. She thought that I said that I was going to study my bears. This kind of thing happens all the time.

Time to go to study my bears.

Weekend Away

A lot of little things to report.

In general, until this past Monday, I have been a little under the weather as it relates to the chemo effects. Dry mouth and mouth sores have been a big issue, Mugard, Oragel Rinse and Biotene have all been employed in the battle and the last few days have improved the sores, but not the dry mouth.

My neuropathy still is present, but again, it is slightly better.

I do get tired. More about that later.

Way back when I started this process a year ago, I joked about getting a sore toe from the chemo. I was rewarded almost immediately by a case of athlete's foot. (If I was an astronaut, it would have been missletoe!). Well, we are back to toes. I have developed a black spot under the nail of my big toe on my right foot. The research manager has listed possible causes - fungus, melanoma, bruising. The cancer center says "Chemo effect." We are watching this with interest as things develop.

The blood tests from yesterday tell a tale. My White Blood Cell count is down, but not grievously so. However, my Red Blood Cell count has been slipping steadily. This can cause fatigue and other maladies . The low count is likely caused by adverse effects on the bone marrow from chemo . I don't think we are at scurvy levels, but this is a matter to be pursued.

I am looking forward to a weekend away with my son Graham and then we are back for session six of the new chemo. After that there are decisions to be made re more plain chemo or maintenance and, if maintenance, pills or two days with Bob. Stayed tuned for developments.

I am afraid that my prowess on the tennis court is having a negative effect on attendance. A number of players are not showing up. I doubt it has anything to do with the fact that they are snowbirds.

Even the driver is going to be away next week. I asked if she could drive back from Hilton Head on Monday night, drive me to Morton Plant and then return to be with her family. She thought about it for 0 seconds and declined the opportunity. Surprise announcement on this next week.

Finally, Andy and my daughter Krista independently worked on converting my blog to "Word" format. Andy has then worked hard to make it into a true book presentation and then converted my email conversations with my dear friend Mary Jo, who has pancreatic cancer. It really moves me to read back over those first six months. I am close to being ready for a conversation with a publisher. I am excited about this.

I will be thinking of you all over the weekend and look forward to catching up with you next week.

A pending rubber ducky crisis

This has been an interesting week. It has had it's highs and its lows.

If this blog is less than inspired, it is because today, I am less than inspired. It has been a tough day. Not much appetite and I have been very tired. Exactly what you would predict on the day after chemo.

The interesting thing is that in the days before chemo, I had significant dry mouth and some bowel issues. They were better last night. So who knows. This is a strange and rocky journey.

This past week began on a high with a visit to Moffitt Cancer Center. I was really impressed. I spent an hour with Dr. Haider and found her to be very bright and personable. She clearly cared about what I felt and wanted.

It was suggested that I do two full chemos, not four and then switch to a maintenance regime of some kind. Her recommendation was to do two days with Bob and not the full Bolus of chemo on the first day. This contrasts with the pill form of maintenance. The reason for not doing the pill is that there are some tough side effects possible (irreversible skin damage, for one.} Also, if one is left to do the pills at home, patients sometimes forget.

For those of you that know of my disdain for Bob, this is tough. We have about three weeks to work this out.

A few vignettes.

I met an older man at the post office the other day. He had received some meds in the mail and was complaining about the cost and that he therefore had to continue to work. I said, "Me too."

His response was that I was too old to be working. The implication is that he thought I looked older than him and more frail. I thought just the opposite, but what do I know.

The other vignette is shocking. You know of my feelings about my rubber duckies. A report released yesterday revealed that rubber duckies contain all kinds of bacteria. I will have to think about this. It would be a real sacrifice to give them up. What is more, I read the ending positions of the 5 duckies when the tub drains to determine how things are going.

It is kind of like reading tea leaves.

In any event, thanks for your support in so many ways.

Here's to a stress free life

This past week has been relatively uneventful.

I have managed to play tennis most mornings and also kept up with things at the bridge club.

There are a few days where I could have used a rest and did not get it, but generally things are good.

Anything not good? Hmmmm...some back and neck pain from the car accident, some neuropathy in the fingers, a little fatigue.

On the positive front, Dr. Patel told me that about 50% of his patients show no improvement after 4 sessions of chemo after a recurrence ( I went three months and then the cancer returned) and clearly the petscan showed decent improvement. Also, he indicated that the two shots that I received to boost my white blood cell counts were responsible for clearly up my mouth sores. My count jumped from 1.9 to 4.9.

I was able to get an appointment with Moffitt Cancer Center for tomorrow (Thursday) and I am looking forward to it. I spent 2 hours this evening answering a lengthly questionaire and then reading instructions to prepare for my visit..

The instructions included questions that one should ask during the appointment and I have come to the conclusion that Moffitt personnel may be miracle workers. I was instructed to ask "Will I be able to have children after my treatments?" If they answer yes to that, I will be impressed.

This week I have been reading a book called "The Cancer Conqueror." I read it many years ago and I have often recommended it to others. I realize that it has helped form my attitude to cancer. It focuses on the ability of the mind to influence what happens.

Negative emotions like fear, guilt and anger have a heavy negative influence on your health. Love, joy and peace obviously have a positive effect.

Right now I am reading about the importance of playing each day. I buy into that big time.

We all need to take control of what is happening in our lives and our treatment.

No summary would do justice to the book which is written as a parable of sorts. I highly recommend it. It is written by Andersen and is available on Amazon. I am somewhat interested in studying this book with others. Let me know if you would be interested. It is good for everyone, in my opinion.

One of the things that should be avoided is stress. I will have to develop strategies for things in my life to achieve this. For example, when I receive coin change from a purchase in the store, do I put the change in the coin holder in the car or do I bring it home and put it in the coin jar on my desk? Maybe I should always pay by debit card?

So......tennis players and bridge players........it would help my health if I could always win and not suffer the stress of losing I am just saying,

It is getting late, I need to go and have my relaxation, detoxing soak and then get to bed. Oh rats, I will have to decide whether to sleep on my left side or my right. Stress is everywhere.

Arrived!

This week brings a number of reports and observations.

The most important is that the results of my petscan show improvement in my liver and my lymph nodes and nothing new.The readings in the lymph node are down to about half of what they were 2 months ago. The liver readings are down about 40%.

What does this mean? It means that the oncologist is recommending another 4 sessions of chemo, not my first choice, but likely right.

Having said that, I am looking at clinical trials and also will attempt to get a second opinion re future treatment from Moffitt Cancer Center.

The second big development is that my white blood cell count was very low yesterday, The associated measure (ANC) was .9 and the minimum acceptable reading is 1.5. Low ANC is called Neutropenia. This prompted the requirement that I have two shots of  Neupogen to help bring it back up. I got one needle yesterday before rushing off to the petscan and one this morning which took a long time, which was frustrating, but I still made it to all my appointments.

One of the effects of Neutropenia is apparently mouth sores and infection. I have experienced that big time over the past three or four days, but it seems to be improving. That will help me feel like eating more, which has been a problem. It sometimes hurts to eat and my taste buds seem to be not functioning all that well.

Notwithstanding all this, I still am playing tennis when appointments or really cold weather don't get in the way. Monday, I was the best player on the court. The fact that it was drizzling and cool may have been a factor as no one else showed up to play. But then today, the best player who usually takes me to make things even, took someone else, which gave me some reason for optimism.

Some people encourage me by saying that at least I am trying. I am quick to observe that the research manager finds me trying often.

Finally, we all try to make it in whatever endeavor we undertake. I learned yesterday that I have arrived! We had about 30 minutes to eat between my petscan and an appointment with my GI doctor with whom I had a followup visit just prior to the one year anniversary of my big surprise. We located a McDonalds for an Egg McMuffin and asked for directions on my phone. When we got there, it told me that I had ARRIVED!  I did not realize that it was so easy to reach that lofty goal.

Finally, I learned today that someone who I see about three times a year on the tennis court (March Break) reads my blog regularly. Wow...all of you who follow the blog are great. I so much appreciate your interest, prayers and support. It gives me energy.

So, I am truly energized to carry on and intend to do so for a long time. Thanks.

Life is not quite like a box of chocolates, I couldn't eat them any way.

I was doing pretty well until yesterday, when I had my fourth chemo of this series.

For about three days, I feel tired, I don't feel like eating much, but I still try to remain active.

Tonight (day 2), I am very tired and am ready to go to bed, but it is not even 8:00 pm yet.

I was honored that the driver flew back from Connecticut just to be able to drive me to the cancer center yesterday. The only negative is that the car was dirty from spray from the recycled water and the pollen while she was away. I guess I make too many comments about her driving as she now says that she is driving Mr. Daisy.

Bob is still with me, of course. We had a little conversation today. He indicated that he is ok with coming home with me, but that there is a female pump that he calls Amanda that he would prefer to be back at the cancer center with.

I told him that he annoys me and he responded that I had better get serious about alternate therapies if I wanted him to stay away.

We keep on getting more and more things to try to beat this cancer thing. Most recently, I have ordered two books, one of which advocates serious exercise and the other of which is a strong advocate of Curcumin.

I figure that I can enhance my exercise and strength training by rearranging the myriad of books and notes on cancer that are on my desk each day. I must have 100 pounds worth.

At this point, I am taking Beta Glucan Pectin, Curcumin, Vitamin D, Selenium, Vitamin E, Vitamin B12, Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C, avocados, spinach, Chaga Mushroon Tea and Essiac Tea.

When they arrive, we will be adding Apricot Seeds. I am also sleeping on a magnet pad and wearing a magnet pad on my back to reach my liver.

Once I get the results of the petscan, we will have the Cancer Research Institute do a search for research programs that may deal with my situation.

Life is so exciting, but not quite like eating from a box of chocolates. However, we all can look forward to seeing what the next steps will be.

Thanks for sharing this journey with me.

Butt Kicking

Saturday evening, I had a new experience. I developed a very sore bottom.

Allow me to explain.

The three or four days after chemo last week were a little tough.  I can't fully explain it, but I was less than enthusiastic about almost everything.

The research manager noticed this and decided that I was not in good shape and that others agreed with her. She attributed it to my not taking the diet/supplement regime seriously and Saturday evening, she gave me a good old fashioned butt kicking. That is why my bottom was so sore.

From her perspective, my chemo and my reaction to it was the cause of all my maladies and she perceived that I was quietly accepting this and that chemo would be a permanent part of my life if I just drifted along as I seemed to be doing. This was causing all manner of ills.

She even suggested that my not doing all I could was the cause of my being rear ended in the car accident and that it was, therefore, probably my fault. I wonder if I should tell Liberty Mutual that the poor guy that hit me could not help it because I was not approaching this cancer thing properly. I am sure they would not be thrilled to hear this, but that his insurer might jump for joy if her theory prevailed.

I had blood work on Monday and my White Blood Cell count is low. I even had to consult with the nurse and nurse practitioner before I was sent on the way. I need to be careful around others. I hope that things are significantly better by next Tuesday when I have my next chemo.

Dry mouth is a minor problem as is neuropathy in my fingers. I am slowly building strength. I play tennis most days and sometimes can actually hit the ball.

I am still having my back, neck and wrist attended to and may have to deal with this for some time.

I realize that my mental attitude and toughness is very important in this process and am committed to kicking cancer's butt. If I can be as effective as the research manager in butt kicking, cancer has no chance.

One Malady at a Time

This week finds us dealing with yet another malady.

I had been waking up with a deep cough and decided to go to the local clinic last Friday. As luck would have it, the physician in charge was one of my nurse practitioner friends, Allie. She checked me out thoroughly and determined that I was going to live. She told me to get Claratin and things would dry up. It is not quite all the way clear yet, but it is improving.

I have added Milk Thistle to the mix, taking three pills each evening after dinner.

I have just had my third session of chemo and still have Bob with me. Bob is annoying. I have too many things to carry in my pocket as it is.

This time round, I have lost much of my voice, do not have much appetite (although, I did manage to handle some Halong Bay food for dinner this evening.) And I am really tired.

My voice must be really bad. The research manager who claims to have good hearing has a lot of trouble interpreting what I am saying. For example, if I say, "I am going to the rest room," she will say "you're arresting who?" If I say, "I am going to sleep," she will ask my why I am going to sweep. It goes on and on.

The  chemo and Bob have delayed further progress in putting my neck and back in place after the car accident. We will get back on track tomorrow after I get rid of Bob.

So, you can see that apart from a bad throat, no voice, a little nausea, some neuropathy, a bad back and sore neck, things are pretty good.In fact, once I get rid of Bob, none of those things will matter.

Looking up or looking down?

Where do I start describing this past week?

Well, let's talk symptoms.

As I said preciously, I have a little more nausea for the four or five days after chemo but I also have less sensitivity to cold.

This past week has seen the revival of dry mouth and mouth sores. In particular, I have a very sore spot right under the center of my upper lip. The dry mouth is primarily a factor at night, in that it wakes me up. The mouth sore is 24/7 and it affects my interest in eating some things. As a result, while I had gained 6 or 7 pounds prior to last week's chemo, I have lost all of that and perhaps a pound more since the chemo.

I have good energy and a positive outlook. I have played tennis every morning since last Friday and intend to continue. Having said that, I do get a little tired and enjoy the odd rest, except that, if I fall asleep, my dry mouth wakes me up.

Many have asked about my back pain from the shingles. While it was diminishing significantly, it seemed to recur on Monday morning. To be fair, I cannot blame the shingles. It was more likely due to the red BMW that rear-ended me. There was minimal damage to my car, much more to the BMW and my back, neck and wrist are on their way to the chiropractor tomorrow. The rest of me may tag along to see what the doctor says.

On a more serious note, I know that many of you have looked up to the research manager as have I. However, I have gotten a new perspective and must admit that I now look down on the research manager. My magnetic pad for my bed arrived last weekend and it raises me a few inches thus causing me to look down on the research manager who decided that she did not want a pad on her side of the bed.

For those that believe in symbolism, there is even more persuasive evidence, Our bath tub, has a small shelf on one side that begins to receive water only when the tub is half full. Similarly, it has no water when the tub is half empty as the water drains. I am sure that the cleaning lady wonders what five rubber duckies are doing in the tub, but they are. Frequently, and more often than any other, the one named Charlie ends up on the shelf looking down on the other duckies, causing the Charlie duck to look down on the duck named Carol, the research manager.

I am still wearing red shirts and was joined today by many in red at the bridge club. I was gratified for their support and then I realized that it was St. Valentines Day. I couldn't even kiss any of them because it hurts my mouth sore.

But a symbolic kiss of thanks to all of you for your love, caring, prayers and support.

I am positive except when it comes to magnets.

I have come to realize two things about myself as it relates to my cancer treatment.

The first is that I have come to peace with the fact that I will be dealing with my cancer for the rest of my life. There will always be some kind of treatment.

I am not fussed about this. I know that it will be a long journey, but it will be a journey to remember.

As I approach this, I am doing so with a positive attitude. I wake up each morning, expecting it to be a red shirt day. Every once in a while, I am not fully convinced, but I choose a red shirt as a prompt to my spirit.

For example, yesterday before going to chemo, I played two sets of tennis. I won the first set 5-5 and then I also won the second set 5-5. Always look on the bright side of life.

I went to the second lecture on magnets as a treatment for cancer and other ailments. The presenter is a fascinating guy who lives magnets. Apparently, you need more than a magnetic personality. The negative pole of a magnet is helpful in creating oxygen in your body and also alkalizing your body. Both oxygen and alkalinity help kill cancer cells. But the negative pole has to be what touches your body. The positive pole can actually make you feel worse. Someone asked what would happen if both you and your spouse used magnets. Apparently, the answer is you could repel each other.

I have ordered a magnetic pad and also magnets to place near my liver. I am glad that the research manager is not interested in them. If we had strong enough magnets, one of us would be on the floor.

Life goes on. I am choosing to do things that make me feel good. I think that is not a bad philosophy for most of us.

Oh yes. At this minute, one day after chemo, I am tired, slightly more sensitive to cold and just very slightly nauseous at times. But it is all livable.

Keep smiling. I am.